“The uncomfortable truth about why Indian men struggle with dating”
Ever encountered a situation where you saw a girl you instantly felt attracted to and wanted to approach? When you were just about to take that first step towards her and suddenly you stopped.
Something came in the way. Well we don’t mean something physical but a thought.
That one thought that made you doubt your action and stopped you from approaching her. Ever wondered what that thought was?
Well honestly these thoughts are more like mind blocks. Mind blocks that have become a part of our thought process due to the social conditioning that we have been brought up with.
What is Social Conditioning?
Social conditioning is the process of training people in a society to respond or behave in a manner, which is generally approved by the society and peer groups within the society.
To make this concept more simple these are basically age old dos and don’ts that are being followed and passed on from one generation to another.
Basically are parents expect us to follow these age old norms that have been passed on to them by their parents without realising the changing times and the need of the hour.
How Social Conditioning Creates Mind Blocks While Gaming?
Social Conditioning is one of the biggest road blocks one faces while gaming.
Let us travel back in time and see how this road block came into being.
From the very beginning are parents preach certain do’s and don’ts and make sure that we put them into practice.
Now most Indian men have been raised since childhood with the thought process that when in school the entire focus needs to be on studies so to get good grades to get into a good college.
When in college the entire focus is to graduate with a first class degree to get a good job. Wondering where girls, dating, love life fit into all this?
Hard reality – nowhere? We are brought up with the mindset that men are the bread earners in a family and their prime focus needs to be on career rather than finding love or going on dates.
That department needs to be left on parents who claim to know you the best and once at a marriageable age will find you your soulmate.
As funny as it may sound today, but these are the age old Societal norms that have been going on in Indian society since generations.
As children, while in school we would remember that the crowd would be divided in groups. Boys on one side and girls on the other.
Co-ed classrooms would see a clear segregation between genders. Girls preferred sitting with girls and boys with boys.
The idea of hanging out with the opposite sex would be weird or repelling and by chance if a boy and girl were seen together a rumour about them would spread faster than smoke in the air.
They would be looked at with shame and judgements. Now this may not be true for the recent generations but kids from the 90’s and before would definitely agree to this.
When you grow up with such Social Conditionings, you are bound to be affected at a subconscious level even when you grow up.
The times may have changed but the impact of such upbringing remains. This creates a mind block in when approaching a girl and in maximum cases we drop the idea and hence hinder our game.
Lets just say that you are not outdated in terms of your thinking and the above mentioned Social Conditioning personally does not affect you, but you will still hesitate to approach a girl you just saw.
You will start thinking from a girl’s perspective. In a country like India women till recently have been socially conditioned to concentrate on household chores.
Dating before marriage is a complete taboo for them and good girls are expected to marry in an arranged set up where a woman’s virginity is considered sacred and a mark of a good character.
So when you start thinking from an Indian girl’s perspective, you automatically discourage yourself from approaching her convincing yourself that she will reject you or judge you.
Another mind block we face is that we think that girls are in scarcity ( given the population ratio of our country).
As a result, we put the girl on a very high pedestal and build up pressure on ourselves and start treating them like trophies we got to earn.
End result is that due to the immense pressure we put ourselves into we either mess our game or we don’t end up gaming at all.
If a girl is out on a date with you, it is because she is equally interested.
So, show yourself some respect, and put yourself on an equal pedestal. Don’t let this mind block hinder your game.
Impact of Westernisation and Getting Rid of The Age Old Social Conditioning.
Now brothers always remember “Change is the only Constant”.
No matter what mindset we were brought up with, what Social Conditionings we grew up with, times are changing and so is the society and its norms.
What was not acceptable in the past is acceptable today. With education, exposure and westernisation coming into picture, people now are becoming more accepting and more willing to evolve and change.
Men no longer need to be spoon fed and lazy and depend on their parents to find their soulmate. Dive into the pool of girls out there. Date and game.
Go through all the wrong ones to finally find your true match. Build a stronger game and approach as many woman as you please.
Earlier this may have been down looked upon as people had too much time in hands to poke into others’ lives but with busy lives, wide range of careers and a rat race to success they no longer have the tome to think.
With westernisation coming into picture, age old social conditioning is loosing its grip and people are becoming more accepting.
Women are no longer seen as housewives and are aiming towards building a strong career. They are more extrovert and outgoing now and are as open to dating and one night stands as men.
It’s time we get rid of these mind blocks that come in the way of our gaming and work towards building our A-game.
Social conditioning is loosing its grip with the changing time and it is high time we free ourselves of it before it engulfs us and ruin our game.
